Thunder, thunder, please be kinder to my son

While I was in school today, C’s childcare teacher called and asked if she could speak to me for a while.

She explained that it was raining heavily, with thunders and lightning ongoing on her end. Immediately, I asked if C was okay. She further explained that they have been trying to calm him down for two hours but were unable to do so, thus they decided to give me a call.

C has always been frightened of the rain and thunder. Even at home, he would be crying and asking me to ask the rain to stop. I would always explain that we need the rain to water the plants and trees and he would retort back, while tearing,

but I am scare!

Things gone hay-wired today. The teacher told me when the rain first started, C appeared fidgety but was still seated down. As the rain got heavier, he told the teacher to turn off the rain. When the thunder and lightning started their storm, he got up and started to run around the classroom and even went out of the classroom shouting for the rain to stop. The teachers tried to restrain him for fear that he would hurt himself or others but it made it worse. He started to scratch himself very rigorously, leaving red marks all over his neck and at one point, he went on to hit his own head continuously. That was when the teachers decided to give me a call.

As I was driving there, I called up the centre and asked to speak to C. When he came to the phone and heard my voice, he started to cry uncontrollably. I couldn’t make out what he was saying. I just told him,

“C, mummy is going to your school now. Can you wait for me?”

Yeeesss…..mmmmuuummmmyyy….

“Baby, I’m coming soon okay. It’s alright. I’ll be there soon.

Mmmuuummmyyy, it’s raining, remmmmeemmbbeer to drrriiivvvee ssaaffeelly.

“I’ll see you soon C.”

I rushed down from school. I was tearing while driving there. I don’t know why. I think the words spoken by C despite his fear overtook my emotions. I had to force myself to hold my tears in as I didn’t want to appear red-eyed in front of C. I knew it would have made things worse. It was raining heavily on my end now as I am journeying to the childcare centre. In my mind, I just thought, why can’t the rain just be kinder on my child? Why can’t the thunder just be gentler on him? He already has so much to face as a child with autism.

As I ran my way up to the childcare centre, I waited at the waiting area for the teacher to bring C out. I saw him first. He was holding his teacher’s hand. While our eyes met. He ran. I unlocked the gate and he came running towards me. I carried him up. It never felt better, for him, and also for me.

He wasn’t crying anymore. I asked if he felt better.

I’m better. Can we leave?

I told the teacher I will bring him back to the nanny’s place for a while and get her to bring him back after lunch.

Mummy, I’m hungry. Can we eat something before going to aunty’s place (i.e., nanny’s place)?

“Would you like a kid’s meal? They still have the angry bird toy.”

Okay.

As we headed out of Mac, the rain has stopped.

“Look C, the rain has stopped.”

Yippiieee!!! Hi-five mummy

I proceeded to hi-five with him. Everything associated with the rain, thunder and lightning faded away.

As I dropped him off at the nanny’s, he turned his head and said

Mummy, don’t forget to fetch me later. I’ll see you later. Oh ya, mummy, thanks mummy. You saved my day!

As he turned and walked away. I didn’t want to leave. I wanted to capture that moment forever. He turned back and saw that my car had not moved, and he waved for me to go. I moved off slowly. At that moment, I didn’t want to go back to work. I just didn’t.

At that point, I really felt like giving everything up. I felt that my son needs me. As I headed back to school, I had only 15 minutes left to my lesson. I struggled to brace myself up for it. As I headed to class, I saw that all the classroom doors and windows were closed. I was puzzled. I opened the door, and as I stepped in, all my kids started to sing Happy Birthday to me. I was in awe. After they finished singing, I told them it wasn’t my birthday, and they just replied that they wanted to make me happy. It was so random. I burst out laughing. These kids have been with me for four years and they are the loveliest bunch of kids. I am thankful for my kids, they bring out the joy in me, like how C brings out the joy in me. 

I am blessed with what I have, despite how my life can be sometimes.

Love,

A

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