I am writing this post with mixed feelings in my heart and mind. While I am happy with hitting my 100th post, my mind is mixed with so many things that have happened in the past month. Despite the negative things, seeing C’s sleeping posture with his butt in the air brings a smile to my face. See the changing sleeping years… or not…
…he still enjoys sleeping with his butt in the air. I think it’s quite a funny position to sleep in but he enjoys it. What’s your sleeping posture? Is it as interesting as C’s? 😮
Thank you to my readers and followers who have been with me, regardless of whether you are sleeping butt-in or butt-out. HaHa-HeeHee. I am inspired to continue this journey whenever I know my blog is reaching out and helping others. I am blessed as well by the tremendous support I have received from all of you as well as my loved ones.
Below is an extended version of my post on why I am having these mixed feelings…
These four months have been a roller-coaster ride and it seems like I am not near the dock yet.
First, I had some issues at work, for the first time in more than ten years of work, I was being maligned. It was a hurtful experience as for many who know me, they would know the type of person I am. I am over it now. I decided to let it go as I believe that as long as I be who I am, I am true to myself, I will not be crushed by those who chooses to step on me.
What can’t get us down can only make us stronger.
Second, I got into a major accident. The case is still not settled thus I can’t comment much. However this case will take three months up to three years to close which makes my heart and mind unsettled at many a times.
Third, C got into a minor incident which resulted in him having to be sedated and his right foot last toe being stitched up. I never knew child sedation meant that their eyes will be wide opened throughout the surgery. When the nurse signaled for me to enter the surgery area to see the closing up of the wound, I could see tears flowing out of his eyes though he was still. It was heart-breaking. I held my tears. Though I know he is asleep. I just felt I had to keep my emotions intact, in case, somehow, he could see me. I felt I had to stay strong though my heart was stricken.
All these events happened within a month and I feel as though I still do not have time to come to terms with it or deal with the emotional parts in me.
I have to admit, for myself, I don’t know what I will do or should do. I think I will pretty much go with the flow.
Some times in life, when we are lost, the best decision, is to go along with the flow and see where it leads us.
I think sometimes it is tough to upkeep all the things we have to do and the multiple roles we have to play in life as a mother, wife, working parent, daughter, friend, etc.
However, one thing that won’t change, is that I love my son, and I will do all things to make it work for him. If it takes 200 posts, 300 posts or a thousand posts, I will continue to help him. Butt-in or butt-out, I will continue on this journey to help him, and in doing so, I hope it will help others too.
So, thank you my butt-in and butt-out readers. Let’s continue to go far together, despite the twist and turns, we’ll go forward, for ourselves, for our kids, for our loved ones.