‘Man is made or unmade by himself; in the armory of thought he forges the weapons by which he destroys himself; he also fashions the tools with which he builds for himself heavenly mansions of joy and strength and peace. By the right choice and true application of thought man ascends to the divine perfection.’
– Allen, J., As A Man Thinketh
In Allen’s classic book, ‘As A Man Thinketh’, and as the title suggest, he writes that as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he. He goes on to write in his book that a man’s mind is like a garden which, either cultivated well or left alone to go on a wild rumpus, will still produce. Thus, if you are the farmer of the garden, and you decide to senselessly drop useless seeds all around the garden, then eventually, an abundance of useless weed-seeds would fall into the land, and the results would be wrong, useless, harmful and impure plants.
If you’ve read my blog entry on “When tomorrow comes…“, you’ll know that I’ve just got promoted at the beginning of the year and I decided to give it up for C. The school term has just started and things are really hectic as all teachers will know. I am trying to juggle being a mother and teacher, while not forgetting that I am also a wife, daughter and friend.
Last week in school, a colleague came up to me after school and told me in private that she has heard rumours about me going on part-time. Before I could tell her that I was not interested in knowing, she went on to say that a few colleagues in school were spreading the rumours that I have gone on part-time because I could not handle my newly assigned ‘workload’, thus decided to use my son as an excuse and go on part-time. Initially, I brushed off the comment and explained to my colleague that I am not bothered by what they say, for when I decided on this path, I knew there would be negative grapevine. However, I was quick in telling her that, logically, if i could not handle my new workload, all I had to do was turn down the designation and become a normal teacher. Doesn’t it sound ridicules to go on part-time and receive half the pay, and use my son as an excuse just because I can’t cope with the new workload?
My colleague went on to say that she agrees with me but just wanted to tell me what she has been hearing.
When I went home, the rumours made by these few colleagues were getting to me. I had a really negative thought in my mind which goes along the line of, “wait till when you have a child next time, and if your child has autism, then you will know how it feels”. I felt really bad for having such a thought and that’s when Allen’s book came to mind. I searched for the book in my ‘old-books smell’ bookshelf and read a few chapters.
I calmed down soon after and decided… I will not let myself be put down by what others say and I shall,
Quit seeing the bad and see the good in ourselves, our kids and others.